Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out !Who gives my cat his Christmas presents? Santa Paws!Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents? Santa Claws!What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead!Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!What did mary say to santa during the storm? Look at that rain, dear!Where do plumbers buy there presents? Bath!Why is it best to park your car near the moon? Because there is a lot of space!What is the use of reindeer? It makes the garden grow sweetie!How many legs does rudolph have? Four? No, six. - he's got forelegs and two back legs!What game do six reindeer play in the back of a mini? Squash!Why did the reindeer take his nose apart? To see what made it run!What do you call a reindeer that has a number on its tail? Reg!Did you hear the story of the 3 reindeer? No. Oh deer, Oh deer, Oh deerWhy do reindeers have wrinkled ankles? Because they lace there boot too tight!What did santa give the death fisherman for christmas? A herring aid!Whats the worst thing to get for christmas? Measles!Where is the best place to buy your dog a christmas present? Leeds!Where does noddy do his christmas shopping? Redcar!Where does the queen do her christmas shopping? Newcastle!What happens if you get too hot at a football match? Sit a bit closer to one of the fans.
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It was their first date.....
It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and..
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Five Maxims of Making Excuses..
1) The feebleness or banality of an excuse should never be a deterrent to its use.2) ..
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1) The feebleness or banality of an excuse should never be a deterrent to its use.2) ..
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Bill Gates picks his own punishment..
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your h..
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Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your h..
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Had too much Christmas cheer?..
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Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liner..
RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERSI was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy..
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RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERSI was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy..
Full joke here