***Top 17 fatal things to say if your wife is pregnant***17. "I finished the Oreos." 16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds." 15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..!!" 14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!" 13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl!" 12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella." 11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt." 10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!" 9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?" 8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?" 7. "Get your *own* ice cream." 6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today." 5. "Got milk ?" 4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney." 3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!" 2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water..." And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant: 1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger..."
More jokes
At night court, a man was brought i..
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, "State ..
Full joke here
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, "State ..
Full joke here
George Costanza's Tips for Working ..
Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots ofdocuments on the table. Put lots o..
Full joke here
Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots ofdocuments on the table. Put lots o..
Full joke here
Hard of Hearing Genie..
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and ask..
Full joke here
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and ask..
Full joke here
An army private went to see the Med..
An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captai..
Full joke here
An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captai..
Full joke here
Why'd the monkey fall outta the tre..
Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead...Why'd the other monkey fal..
Full joke here
Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead...Why'd the other monkey fal..
Full joke here