The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:Free Yorkshire Terrior.8 years-old. Hateful little dog.----------------------------------Free Puppies:1/2 Cocker Spaniel1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog----------------------------------Free Puppies:Part German ShepherdPart Stupid Dog----------------------------------German Shepherd - 85lbs.Neutered. Speaks German. Free!----------------------------------1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer----------------------------------Amana Washer $100.Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.----------------------------------Snow blower for sale.Only used on snowy days.----------------------------------2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.----------------------------------Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,Comes with its own1988 Mustang, 5L, AutoExcellent Condition, $6,800.----------------------------------83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2,000----------------------------------Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15----------------------------------Soft & Genital Bath Tissuesor Facial Tischue - $.89----------------------------------Full-Sized Mattress20 Year WarrantyLike New! Slight urine smell.----------------------------------FREE 1 Can of Pork & BeansWith Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home----------------------------------Nordic Track $300Hardly used. Call Chubbie.----------------------------------Bill's Septic Cleaning"We Haul American Made Products"----------------------------------Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks----------------------------------HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever!"If it's in stock, we have it!"----------------------------------Get a Little John:The Traveling UrinalHolds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.----------------------------------Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club----------------------------------Georgia PeachesCalifornia Grown - $.89/lb.----------------------------------Nice ParachuteNever Opened - Used OnceSlightly Stained----------------------------------American Flag60 Stars - Pole Included - $100----------------------------------Tired of Working for only $9.75 per hour?We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.----------------------------------Exercise EquipmentQueen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175----------------------------------Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!And it's made of 100% Italian Leather.----------------------------------Joining Nudist Colony!Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300----------------------------------Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.----------------------------------Alzheimer's Center Preparesfor an Affair to Remember----------------------------------Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell----------------------------------Open House!Body Shapers Toning SalonFree Coffee & Donuts----------------------------------Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99/box.----------------------------------Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.09/lb.----------------------------------FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.45 volumes - Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer.No longer needed.Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.
More jokes
Higgins lived in Staten Island,..
Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the..
Full joke here
Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the..
Full joke here
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar....
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks h..
Full joke here
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks h..
Full joke here
Bush as a post turtle..
While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught ..
Full joke here
While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught ..
Full joke here
Even More Blonde Q and A..
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES? A: She said they were pretty good, but..
Full joke here
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES? A: She said they were pretty good, but..
Full joke here
Top 10 Signs You Are 'Burned Out'..
You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell." Your friends call to ask how you've..
Full joke here
You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell." Your friends call to ask how you've..
Full joke here