Church announcement bloopers!
15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins:1. Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.2. Thursday night- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery upstairs.5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.7. Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.9. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.15. At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
What do you call a line of blondes ..
What do you call a line of blondes standing ear to ear? ..
Full joke here
Instructions on how to Colect a Bea..
This is, like, so dumb...Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cat's Urine 1.Tr..
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Restaurants Like Microsoft..
If restaurants functioned like shrink-wrapped (Microsoft) software:Patron: Waiter!Wai..
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Three guys go into a bar, one in a ..
Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears nor..
Full joke here
Little Johnny is coming home from t..
Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand ..
Full joke here