Too Much Computer Time
How to tell when you are spending too much time with your computer:You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot net"Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks likeYou check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it againYour phone bill is delivered in a boxYou name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and DotcomAll of your friends have an @ in their namesYou tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.htmlYou tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't have a job.You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape3.01"You never have to deal with the busy signals because you never log offYou ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toiletYou start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two of you can chatAs your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" buttonYour computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours. You start to tremble. You pick up the phone and dial your Internet access number. You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect.

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