1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
More jokes
Newfoundland and Nova Scotia..
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?The Newfies were lobb..
Full joke here
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?The Newfies were lobb..
Full joke here
In And Out Of Puddles..
A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drin..
Full joke here
A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drin..
Full joke here
Two pieces of string walk into a ba..
Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, "Ba..
Full joke here
Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, "Ba..
Full joke here
Tim Kelly was walking therough a di..
Tim Kelly was walking therough a dim passageway when someonespoke to him. "Good eveni..
Full joke here
Tim Kelly was walking therough a dim passageway when someonespoke to him. "Good eveni..
Full joke here
What did the priest say to the nun ..
What did the priest say to the nun when he screwed her?"The holy pole is in your hole..
Full joke here
What did the priest say to the nun when he screwed her?"The holy pole is in your hole..
Full joke here