New Computer Viruses!
John Bobbit Virus--Removes a vital part of your hard disk and then re-attaches it. (But it will never work again.)•Oprah Winfrey Virus--Your 850 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 200 MB, and then slowly expands back to 850 MB.•Politically Correct Virus--Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".•Right to Life Virus--Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.•Government Economist Virus--Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.•Federal Bureaucrat Virus--Divides your hard disk into thousands of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.•AT&T Virus--Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.•MCI Virus-- Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T Virus.•Sprint Virus--Every 3 minutes it tells you that it's better than the AT&T and MCI Virus.•PBS Virus--Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.•Health Care Virus--Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong with it, and sends you a bill for $4,500.•New York Jets Virus--Makes your Pentium II 266 MHz computer perform like a 12 MHz 286 computer.•LAPD Virus--It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".•O.J. Virus--Claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of your most important files and vows to find the virus that did it.•Ross Perot Virus--Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.•Ted Turner Virus--Colorizes your monochrome monitor.•Dan Quayle Virus--Their is sumthing rong wit your're komputer, we jsut can't figyour out watt.

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