Perks of being over 40...1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9. You can live without sex but not without glasses. 10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 15. You sing along with elevator music. 16. Your eyes won't get much worse. 17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
More jokes
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A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas.Overnight, he..
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A concerned husband went to a docto..
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Visiting kindergarten..
Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. ..
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Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. ..
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I'm trying to prove a point..
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife ..
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A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife ..
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Miscellaneous yo mama jokes..
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad.....
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Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad.....
Full joke here